Buffalo Bills safety Damar Hamlin's miraculous journey to return to playing NFL football took another step in the right direction on Monday: he participated in his first padded practice since collapsing and suffering cardiac arrest on "Monday Night Football" at the Cincinnati Bengals on January 2.
"It feels amazing [to be back]," Hamlin said Monday at a post-practice press conference. "It's a rollercoaster of emotions. I was kind of all over the place being back for the first time. God doesn't make mistakes, I'm on God's timing. As much as the NFL is on schedule, this is God's timing. That's my strength in all this right now. I pretty much lost my life playing this sport, so to come back and do it all again, it's all over the place. I'm rooted in my faith. I'm rooted in love from my family, my teammates, and love all around the world."
Hamlin admitted it was a thorough process he underwent to decide if he should come back and play football again, but he's fully at peace with his call to return to the gridiron.
"I made a decision," Hamlin said. "My family, my mom and my dad, they were behind me either way I wanted to go, playing or not. But if this is the decision we're gonna make, we're gonna go with it and keep going. So I made my decision. I'm living with it."
He is leaning on his faith and relationship with God in order to overcome the potential anxiety with returning to playing contact football in training camp.
"In football, you can't hit that field with ... hesitation," he said. "You're putting yourself in more danger by doing that. Like I said, I made the choice to play. I'm processing a thousand emotions. I'm not afraid to say that it crosses my mind of being a little scared here and there. Like I say, my strength is rooted in my faith, and my faith is stronger than any fear. That's what I want to preach up here, and that's the message I want to spread on to the world. As long as your faith is stronger than your fear, you can get through anything. That's what I'm living by right now."
Hamlin was rushed to the University of Cincinnati Medical Center after receiving CPR on the field after falling to the ground after a head-on collision with Bengals wide receiver Tee Higgins. The 25-year-old isn't looking ahead to his return to regular season football, a Week 1 "Monday Night Football" showdown against Aaron Rodgers and the New York Jets. Instead, he's opting to put all of his focus and energy into each present moment out on the football field.
"Right now, my goal is just one day at a time," Hamlin said. "Even my big goals, I can't even focus on those right now. So my goal is just one day at a time, just coming out in practice, focusing on one period, one second, one play, one step at a time, honestly. So you know, my big goals, I can't even mention them right now because I'd be in the wrong headspace just thinking about them. Thinking that far down the line, it makes me, not lose focus, but it puts emotions inside of me that I don't even need to be dealing with or processing right now. ... My mindset right now is just being ready for the Buffalo Bills whenever they need me."
